Dear Whinechick… cheap wine at weddings?

Dear Whinechick,

Why do weddings always insist on serving the cheapest sparkling wine possible?  Do you think its inappropriate to sneak my own bottle of good sparkling wine in there?

Seriously here, wouldn’t you think that this being a time of celebration and good wishes, it would more appropriate to send off the bride and groom with a nice quaff, rather than some garbage that fell off a truck?  I once was watching this show on WE TV called “Platinum Weddings” (Women’s Entertainment Television for those not in the know, and sadly, I’m addicted to it)  and these girls go on and on about how much they spent on this and that for their weddings and they all usually cost about $100,000 +.  This one girl was at her lavish ceremony and reception, all decked out and dripping with jewels and what does she pop open to toast with, but a bottle of J.Roget.  Or as some people in the industry call it, “J. Rotgut” for $4.  I’m sure her daddy was doing cartwheels when he asked his “Diamond ‘Lil” what fancy Champagne she wanted for her wedding and she replied, “J. Roget, Daddy!”  He probably bought a whole truckload for that kind of deal and has leftovers sitting in his basement.  Hey, his little girl has to have something to pop open on her anniversary every year till she gets divorced (after her $100,000 wedding).

I bet she picked only the best Champagne for her guests!

So, in my opinion, I think its perfectly fine to bring in your own bubbly to a wedding.  Just don’t get caught.  Like, maybe soak the label off or something so you could actually put it on the table and it wouldn’t stand out from the other bottles.  Most facilities don’t appreciate outside alcohol being brought in.  If you wanted to be super polite to the persons of honor, you could share your vino, but you may have to be prepared for some tough questions from the bride like, “What?  The stuff we picked out isn’t good enough?” and how do you keep from laughing when asked the question, “So, what do you think of the Champagne I picked out?  J. Roget is like, French or something!  I think I met him when I visited his Chateau in Canandaigua.  At least he told me his name was J. Roget anyways.  Hee hee hee hee!”